Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
