it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
