I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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