i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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