why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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