just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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