omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize