I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
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I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
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