I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
