he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
