remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
FUCK WHALES
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize