but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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