so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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