I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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