Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
