Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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