I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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