Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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