Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
