Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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