oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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