He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Even my vagina gasped.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
