It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
