Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The struggles of a small town man whore
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