If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
BRING THE BAGELS
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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