I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
