I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
