well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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