so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize