He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
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