her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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