kristin has been a bad kristin
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
