when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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