Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
