I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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