Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
