i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
