their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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