At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
