I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
