I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
