I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
