Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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