I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
