ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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