i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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