Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im six kinds of drunk right now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
