The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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