Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
