their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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