His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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