Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
