put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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