he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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