no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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