After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
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I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize