I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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