didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
