It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
