used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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