I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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