So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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