Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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