We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
